If We Treated Our Bathroom Habits Like We Treat Our Eating Habits

Needing to eat is a normal natural biological function. So is needing to use the bathroom! Inspired by a comment Summer Inannen made in one of her Fearless Rebelle Radio podcasts, I made a spoof advert imagining what it would be like if we treated going to the bathroom like we treat our need to eat – as something we need to be told how and when to do! 

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Are you weeing at random? Pooping to excess? We have put together some plans and advice to help YOU start to get your bathroom habits under control!

Many people today feel their bathroom habits are getting out of control.  Perhaps you have noticed yourself using the restroom more than your friends and colleagues? 

Do you find yourself wanting to use the bathroom at all hours of the day, during work, while watching TV, even in the middle of the night? 

You aren't alone! 

Here are a few plans that can help to reduce your excessive bathroom habits.

WC-Watchers

On this plan you get 30 Dots™ a day and 40 weekly Dots™.  A wee is worth 5 Dots™, a poop is worth 10 . (Wees can be any size, Poop are assigned various Dot™ values, depending on size. Farts have zero Dots™ Value!) 

We recommend 1 poop and 4 wees a day.

If you really have to go, and you have used your daily allowance, then use some of your weekly Dots™.

Remember, a really big dump could use up most of your weekly Dots™, so ask yourself "Do I really need to go?"

If you think you may have some diarrhoea planned in the near future (those beer and curry nights can be fatal!) save your weekly Dots™ up..thats what they are there for!

Weeing World 

This plan gives you red days & green days. You chose a colour, and on that day you can only use a bathroom that has at least 5 things in that colour. 

This is an easy plan to follow at home, but can be more challenging when out and about.

We recommend you carry 5 things in the colour of your choice with you whenever you leave home.. these can be quickly placed round any bathroom, allowing you to go without guilt! 

You also get a Fault™ allowance of up to 100 a week…remember, if you are having a green bathroom day and you end up in the wrong colour bathroom you could end up using most of your Faults™! 

It’s worth checking the colour of the bathroom before visiting a friend or attending an event, so you can use your Faults™ wisely!

Five/Poo 

You get one poop and one wee a day for two days of the week, then you can poop and wee to your hearts content on the other five. 

You can choose the days! 

After a few weeks you may lose your urge to go at all on your “low” days! 

Intermittent Elimination 

You can only wee/poop within a 5 hour period on any given day. It can be any 5 hours, but they must be consecutive. 

With practice many people train themselves to only want to go in their 5 hour time slot! 

These bladder & bowel control plans can be very useful for those of you who find it difficult to control your bathroom urges. 

But what happens when you are out with friends, and someone suggests a bathroom visit?

Especially in the early days, you may find that you DO want to go, even if you have used up your allowance or are out of your time frame! 

Some useful replies to the “helpful” friend who suggests a comfort break:

• ·         “No thanks, I had a huge poop before I left the house!”

• ·         “Mum likes her family to have the evening wee at her house. She says it’s the only time she gets to see us!

• ·         “I recently found out that I am toilet paper intolerant. I only use organic muslin squares now…there's toilet paper in nearly every bathroom nowadays!”

• ·         “I am trying to cut back on public toilets. I have already used two this week, anymore and I may fall back into my old bad habits!”

As a last resort, and if you have a certain friend who won’t take no for an answer (especially if they have caught you staring longingly at the bathroom door), you can carry a small bottle of water in your purse. 

Join your friend in the restroom, and when you are in your stall, slowly pour the water into the toilet. Then loudly tear off some toilet paper, flush, and emerge to conspicuously wash your hands. They will assume you went and hopefully stop pressuring you. 

If your friend is understanding you could try explaining your plan: 

• ·         “I am saving my weekly Dots™ for the weekend. Auntie Irene is cooking on Saturday night, and she is very heavy handed with the chilli. I will be needing them all for Sunday morning!”

• ·         “I am on a green day, and the bathrooms here are heavy on the red decor!”

• ·         “I am doing Intermittent Elimination, and my weeing /pooping window closed hours ago. Don’t worry though, I get to go as much as I like tomorrow!”

Perhaps your friend will even ask you more about your new plan!

Use the opportunity to share what you have been learning, and you may be able to help them to control their own bathroom habits!

Good luck!